PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
