Dual....:-)
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
