she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
