You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
