he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
