shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
