It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
