their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
