how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
