Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
