It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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