I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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