Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
