im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
