I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
