So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
