we're chasing vodka with high fives
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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