Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
