Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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