I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
