Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
