My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
