i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
