Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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