i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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