found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
