Can Purell be used as lube?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
