what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
