Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
