uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
