Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
