Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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