im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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