and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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