Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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