I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
