I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
