3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I could fuck to npr.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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