I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
