Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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