that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
