i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
