The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
