You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
How does it feel to date your dad?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
