Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
