playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
