i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
