The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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