May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
