Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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