I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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