suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
