I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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