She even gives head with a lisp.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
