Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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