Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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