I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
